Matt Hunter’s Journey With Depression and Lessons for Others

Hey, Meet The Hunters Community! Matt here, and I want to dive into & explain my mental health journey through anxiety and depression when I was in my 30s. Depression is something that we, as men, don’t talk about frequently enough. In my experience, I have found that people are worried about being described as “weak,” “sad,” or “unhappy.” As  I share my struggle with depression and my journey to help motivate others and share important lessons, I hope that whoever reads this can take a valuable lesson and implement it into their life!

My Mental Health Journey

My struggle with depression began in my late 20s. As a young man, it was a very confusing time in my life. A lot was going on at this time; my son was about two years old, and I had a new mortgage and a family.  As the stress started building on me, I noticed that I was building sadness, anger, and frustration. I felt like I didn’t want to be with other people, which was weird, as I had previously been so outgoing. Looking back, what I would have done differently was talk to someone about how I felt. Naturally, I wanted to brush my emotions under the rug and ignore them. But was I wrong…

I remember the tipping point was one night when I couldn’t sleep. Before, I had been feeling resentment toward my wife, Lisa. Though it wasn’t because of anything she did, I couldn’t help feeling it. I ended up writing her a long letter, in which I blamed her but didn’t know where all the thoughts had been coming from. After a couple of days, I felt I needed to talk to Lisa about the letter. Strangely enough, I felt angry for Lisa as if I was dragging her down. She had seen signs of something going on with me, but she didn’t know what. In fact, we never even talked about it!

After plenty of tears (on both of our parts) and reading the letter to Lisa, she told me that I might have depression. “Depression?” I thought, “I can’t have depression!”. Immediately I disagreed; it didn’t make sense to me since I had a great job, a new house, a great family, and everything all put together. It wasn’t until I found out later that the problem was I didn’t know what depression really was.

A week or two after my conversation with Lisa, I went to see a psychiatrist. This was one of the first and most important steps I took to get healthy again. He asked me questions like “When do you feel best?”, and I said, “After a hard anaerobic-style workout or run.” The doctor then suggested I try antidepressants and put me on Wellbutrin. After that, I noticed a pickup in my mood but also some side effects like irritability and exhaustion. 

Now at 44 years old, I’m in control and know how to cope. The depression I have battled for so long occasionally creeps up, but I can now recognize and deal with it. For me, it is temporary and almost always caused by stress. 

My Steps to Build Out of Depression and Anxiety

As mentioned, I tried taking antidepressants for a few years but it was hard to be consistent, and I also knew it wasn’t a long-term solution for me. Relying on a substance to make my mood better just wasn’t a sustainable option for me.

Exercise 

I’ve found that one of the keys to coping is a healthy lifestyle. I had never been the type of person who cared about a healthy lifestyle, but I knew I always felt better after working out. I found CrossFit, which worked well for my competitive nature. It even helped me make friends and have a community. Healthy eating also helped me! Sugar and nutrition are directly correlated to dopamine and serotonin. Simply put, if I eat well, I feel good. As a result, I am motivated to work out and feel great! This lifestyle also fits perfectly with Lisa and I’s Yoli business, which we will share more about later!

I also noticed alcohol was unhelpful. I would feel good while drinking but felt much worse after. I only drank socially but would go hard. Now, I only drink occasionally and in very minimal amounts.

Of course, the simple act of talking about my feelings and depression helped me the most. There is something very significant about telling others my story and discussing my struggles. Human connection and sharing our emotions is something, as men, that we struggle with even in our marriages. But without this level of intimate connection, we will never become the men we dream of becoming!

My Lessons for Others

My journey taught me a few key things I hope others can learn from. The hardest part is admitting that there is an issue. You’ll also likely feel like there is a problem but can’t put your finger on it, so talking to someone about it is extremely helpful. Don’t worry about feeling weak when you allow yourself to be vulnerable with your struggles! The mark of the strongest and most humble man is their ability to push their limits!

You also need to find something that makes you feel good. For me, it was working out. Some other great options may be art, reading, walking, or other hobbies. Once you find out what makes you feel good, do more of it.

Of course, we can’t forget the value of pushing the limits to make ourselves uncomfortable. Finding new ways of doing things takes courage, but it helps you grow. Going out of your comfort zone also helps you feel better about yourself!

If you are dealing with depression, please take my advice and talk about it. If you know people dealing with it, be there for them and recognize their struggles. Ask them how you can help, either through listening, or whatever they need from you. People who struggle with depression need to take action and find things that make life enjoyable: Whether that is prayer, being social, eating healthy, or exercising